Not Feeling So Good!

Whoa! For the past few days, medyo down akong feeling. No. I'm not sick. I just feel depressed. Again. I've never felt depressed for the past few months. Ngayon lang naman bumalik. Hahai! All i know is, it started in the community. Then after that, continue continue na siya till now. I don't know how to be happy again. My group mates/friends are affected. I can sense it. Kasi medyo nag bago pakikitungo ko sa kanila. And them doing the same to me.

I wanna go back to the "me" that was happy-go-lucky. I wanna have fun again. I wanna smile and laugh with my friends again. But i don't know where to start. I need some help, i know. But whose gonna help me? Where can i find it? Pwede ba paliton? Mag bayad ko. If kailangan ko mag bayad ng mahal, OK lang sa akin.

Hahai. I miss my friends. Yes. We always see each other everyday. I just don't feel being with them. Or at least to my group mates lang. I feel OK with other people. Well, i guess we didn't have the same connection as those as i have with my group mates. I guess we've build a bond that's different from other people. Well, that's what i think. I don't know with them. Waa!!

Here I go again. Pagiging sentimental ko. Shit! Sobrang cheesy! Hahaha!

Well, to friends whose reading this (haha! i bet no one's reading this but anyway)

I say sorry to you sa akong pagka-immature. I'm always like this. Haha! I've always believed I was born autistic in a mild spectrum. Kaya unpredictable akong emotions. I'm happy now the next minute I'm not. Yes. I know it's weird pero ewan. My dad already gave me an option to go to a shrink pero i declined because siguro gina-deny ko pa dati na something's wrong with me. Now na I'm ready, wala na kaming pera. haha! Hahai. kaya pagpasensyahan nyo na ako. Ganito lang talaga ako. I just need attention siguro. Kasi lately I feel like everyone's ignoring me. I feel like I'm alone again. :(

Anyway, another thing. Kanina i took this quiz in facebook: What is your biggest weakness?

and the result was JEALOUSY. Something I'd agree with. Hahaha!! I'm an envious person.

I'll paste the description of the whole result here.

You envy others, but you are also confident about yourself. But sometimes you wish you could be confident about yourself without the masks. You clean before people come over, even though you are typically a mess. You dress up or wear flashy clothes, because you feel like it will get attention and make you feel worth something. Sexiness is something you value, but you really want to be admired for your heart. You want someone to see through the masks and love you for you, but you sometimes don't know who that person is and you fear opening up to someone because you don't want to be hurt. You wish you could be like someone else, trade places just for a day, to see what it's like to be perfect. You like lists and getting things done, but you rarely finish them. You want to be loved, so badly, for who you are and you're just waiting for the right person to show you that it's okay to rest in who you were made to be, and not who you are always trying to be..

See? See? Ganyan na ganyan ako. :( Hahai.

Di ko na alam kung ano sabihin ba.

Sige na oi. I'll try to be happy. Ang maganda lang ngayon na depressed ako, i don't go to food na for comfort. Hahaha! I try to use our exercise machine everytime i feel down. yeah. Ok na rin yung nakakapag 6mins ako sa machine. Hahai...