Dreaming of A Broken Heart

Title pa lang, kakaiba na. Hahaha!! For the past few days, well actually it's been 2 weeks na, I've been feeling depressed. What makes me depressed you ask? Hmmmm.... It's a 4 letter word. Don't make me spell it out right here. I'm not suppose to be talking about it. right? Haha!

You know what. I really hate feeling like this. It's always been like this every year. Finding someone to love pero di naman pwede. Hanggang tingin, dreams and fantasy na lang lagi. Hahai. Sabi nga sa kanta ni Rhett Miller na i'm beginning to like, "Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life"?

Last night, nilagay ko sa status ko sa YM, sa FB and sa Plurk ang, "I'll Be Dreaming with a Broken Heart," from the lyrics of John Mayer's song Dreaming With a Broken Heart. (Hahaha! I'm musically inspired.) Of course i said it figuratively. meaning, matutulog akong may broken heart. I didn't mean it naman na i'll dream about it. Pero unfortunately, nag dilang anghel ang status ko and i really did dream with and of a broken heart. haha! usually if i dream something, i'd forget about it as soon as i wake up. This one... i dunno why but i still remember it vividly. I could tell you all about it just like in the dream. And tell you. sosyal ang dream ko coz it happened in Hong Kong. Hahaha! makes me laugh coz before i sleep i was thinking about whether going to hong kong or a dslr after i graduate college. LMAO.

so ayun. something happened in the dream that really broke my heart. i woke up at 4am because of it. i felt like letting out my feelings but i couldn't. bumalik ako sa tulog. unfortunately, i was brought back to that scene again where sobrang sakit talaga. Even in dreams, nasasaktan ako.

I don't know na how to be happy. Everyday, Every minute i always think about that person. That suppose-to-be special person. pero i want it to stop already. Sabi ko nga sa friend ko last night, i can't wait to go to the states. Leave everything in here. Start a new leaf in my life. maybe there i could find happiness. just maybe....

I just wish i won't be dreaming of a broken heart again tonight. Tomorrow is going to be another day. Another day of pretending everything's fine. Another 1 pint of ice cream.